Dear Samantha

February 18, 2006

Dear Samantha:

I’m not sure that you will know who I am. My name is Goozie Choppers, II, the oldest son of Mr. and Mrs. G. Choppers from Transylvania. I am 82 years old.

Yesterday, while I was looking through some old things I found in my dark, damp basement, I came across a strange box made of dark wood. It was very dusty and old. I blew off the coating of dust from the top of the box and could barely read the writing on the lid of the box. It said:

`DO NOT OPEN`
`UNLESS YOUR NAME IS:`

At this point, I became nervous. There was still dust covering the name, and I wasn’t sure I even wanted to know what it was. What if it was *my* name? Would I even have the courage to open the box? What if something very scary or even dangerous were inside? What if it was someone else’s name? Would I still open it? Or would I wnat to give the box to the person whose name was on it? It was horribly confusing!

I sat and stared at the dust on the box while I thought about what to do next. What could be the harm in just wiping off a bit of dust with my finger, just to see the first letter of the name? Just one letter wouldn’t really change anything, right?

I began smudging it lightly with my finger. The dust was thick and a bit oily with age. There it was. The first letter appeared, and it was:

`S`

At this point, I realized I could no longer resist my curiosity — I *had* to know what name was printed on the lid of this old wooden box. I quickly rubbed off all the dust to reveal the full name.

I am truly sorry to have to inform you that the following name was printed on the lid:

`SAMANTHA SHANKMAN`

Now, I know tha tyour name is actually Samantha Salvatore. I know this because I had one of my butlers cunsult with something modern and technical and truly fascinating that they call the “internet”. They were able to find your new name and your address so that I could send you this letter.

So, now we find ourselves at this difficult decision point. What should we do with this box? Shall I open it? Shall I ship it to you? Or should I send you a ticket for a sea-ship to come here yourself and open the box?

Please, Samantha, think hard and long about this. This is not a decision to be taken lightly. Perhaps you would like me to open the box and write you a letter explaining its contents to you. Of course, this may be dangerous for me — I’ve heard of stories with truly horrible consequences.

Maybe you’d like for me to send the box to you on the next sea-ship. This could be very dangerous for both you and the passengers on the ship, and maybe even me, if I try to move the box too much.

Of course, you could travel by ship here, to the mountains in Europe, to personally examine the box. This would require you to take a 3-week-long trip, with a long sea voyage, then a horse carriage ride through the mountains. Finally, you would need to stay here until the end of winter and the snow melted so that you could leave.

Please, let me know as soon as possible so that I can find out what is in this mysterious box! I look forward to your reply.

Yours truly,

Goozie Choppers II